Do you ever have a problem where you just don’t know how to reply to an argument, not because you don’t know the answer, but you just don’t know where to begin? Like, the foundation of knowledge you’d need to impart to this person before you could even begin to drag them out of their sinkhole of ignorance would cost thousands of dollars if it were coming from a university?
10:50 pm • 4 March 2014 • 31,639 notes
"dirty bikers" are my favorite people
JK Rowling got the idea for Hagrid after talking to a “dirty biker” in a pub, where he spent the better part of an hour talking enthusiastically about how well his garden was blooming.
I used to work at a boarding kennel and one time this huge, hardcore-looking biker guy came in and said he was here to pick up his dog. We expected it to be some sort of large, traditionally “mean” dog, but instead it was a miniature dachshund that he proceeded to pick up, call “princess”, and let her lick his face while he finished up the paperwork.
I’m secretly happy that this guy is Canadian French.
(Source: advice-animal, via gingerelfandpuppydwarf)
1:22 pm • 4 March 2014 • 207,677 notes
passive aggressive family members
"guess i’ll never be a grandma"
"guess i’ll never be an aunt"
"guess i’ll never be able to dress a niece/nephew"
stop feeling so entitled to my hypothetical offspring. it is not yours. it is mine. i will grow it if i grow it. and it will be mine. not yours. i am not an incubator which grants you familial titles. jesus. go away. this “have a baby i can play with” thing is so impersonal and insensitive and annoying.
1:08 pm • 4 March 2014 • 81,119 notes
"Boy, do I hate being right all the time!"
Dr. Ian Malcolm appreciation post because reasons.
(Source: faramihr, via shortasscorporal)
12:37 pm • 4 March 2014 • 1,255 notes
IT’S A SEX TOY GIVEAWAY TIME!!!!!!
Okay guys so here’s the deal, you’ve been putting up with all my ToyDirty posts for a while now and it’s time to celebrate.
Each week I’ll be giving away one of these best selling $121 dollar Lelo gigi vibrators along with another smaller prize of your choosing from the picture seen above. The last winner will also get the couple-friendly $132 dollar Lelo Alia as well.
If you don’t want to wait you can purchase these on my site ToyDirty right away and they are by far my favorite, most recommended products.
Each vibrator is made with body-safe silicone material, comes with a 1-year warranty, is fully rechargeable and has multiple adjustable stimulation settings.
And all you have to do is like or reblog this post as often as your little heart desires. You don’t even need to be following me and a winner will be chosen every Friday until April 11th with a random number generator.
You must be 18 or over to participate and this is in no way affiliated with tumblr.
GOOD LUCK ;)
12:34 pm • 4 March 2014 • 71,149 notes
I don’t care how many times this appears on my dash I must reblog it every time.
7:07 pm • 3 March 2014 • 412,506 notes
old ships you forgot you loved that come back and just punch you right in the face
(Source: schneezusweiss, via notchoco)
11:52 pm • 2 March 2014 • 71,245 notes